Acceptable, unacceptable secrets in relations. A strong relationship should have honesty and trust as a foundation.
In a serious relationship, partners share their lives. Meaning they go through life’s ups and downs together. So, sharing good and bad moments.
Therefore, you should be honest with each other. that does not mean you should not have any secrets.
This article will investigate the type of acceptable secrets in a relationship and the unacceptable ones.
ACCEPTABLE SECRETS IN RELATIONSHIPS
Honesty has an important place in any serious relationship. But it does not mean we must share everything with our partners.
As individuals, we have some rights which prevail even in relationships. So, we do not have to share everything. You can keep some things to yourself in a relationship. Those are acceptable secrets.
They are acceptable because causing no harm to the relationship. Things you can keep secret include:
Having some privacy, your own “you time, ” and space. so, being with someone does not deprive you of this right.
Not sharing everything about your past lives. You can share what you desire. However, it is not an obligation. You can keep some things to yourself.
Everything that does not impact or affect the relationship does not have to be shared. You can do it at your own discretion.
Moreover, being with someone does not give them the right to know absolutely everything about you. A partner has the right to know things related to the relationship which would influence or impact the relationship.
It would be best if you shared the things that could affect the relationship one way or another, positively or negatively. You are still an individual with your own rights.
Therefore, a partner should not seek to know every bit of your life; doing so may show that they have a trust issue, maybe more dangerous mental problems.
UNACCEPTABLE SECRETS IN RELATIONSHIPS
it is recommended not to keep anything from your partner that could harm or even jeopardise the relationship. Those are unacceptable secrets.
They are unacceptable because they can create severe damage in the relationship. They should not be withheld; doing so can lead to severe consequences. Things not to keep secrets in relationships include:
Finances: secrets should not be kept about finances, especially financial difficulties. If you lose your job, you should let your partner know.
You should let your partner know if you have some issues with money management. Also, you should let them know if you lend or borrow money.
Infidelity: if you are drawn to someone else or have an affair with someone else, that suggests a relationship problem. So, communicate with your partner to find a solution.
Addictions: you should let your partner knows if you are subject to any addiction, including drug substances, alcohol, gambling, or ‘shop alcoholic’.
Legal issues: you should let your partner know if you have a legal problem.
Keeping an illness secret: you should share a known, severe, life-threatening illness with your partner.
Hence, anything that can threaten the peace and bring havoc in your relationship should be shared. Some secrets are more complicated than others to talk about.
But it is always better to share them because they will create more damage if not shared but discovered. You can make the setting and environment to share a secret with your partner according to their personality.
Acceptable, unacceptable secrets in relations. You are not bound to share everything with your partner.
There are some things you can keep to yourself, some acceptable secrets, and some things you should share with your partner;
you must not keep them from them, the unacceptable secrets.
Do you have any other ideas on the matter? Please share in the comments section.