10 great ways to cohabitate with ex after divorce. Divorce is already a challenging experience, but it can get harder when you are somehow forced to share the same place with the person you are parting with. Indeed, some circumstances, such as financial constraints, can cause you to cohabitate with your ex, even live together after divorce.
In most cases, you have a joint mortgage, and none of you can afford to move out. Therefore, in such cases, you cannot force your partner out unless it is a case of force majeure where domestic violence may exist. In that case, authorities get involved.
Since you have no choice but to cohabitate, you better make the most out of it by learning tips to make it easier for all of you. So, practice and embrace a new normal. Here are 10 helpful ways you can implement.
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1# ESTABLISH CLEAR BOUNDARIES
10 great ways to cohabitate with ex after divorce. The first thing is to establish some boundaries. You must be very clear about the situation; you are no longer in a romantic relationship but only cohabitating. So, go with the roommate approach.
Also, Establish physical boundaries by sharing spaces. Allocate responsibilities around the house. Determine financial contribution to make things work to take care of bills. Plan to live separately.
2# COMMUNICATE WITH CHILDREN
10 great ways to cohabitate with ex after divorce include communicating with children. It is a little more challenging when children are involved. You must clearly explain the situation to them so they can understand. Tell them your plan for co-parenting and the arrangements you made. Moreover, explain to them how it will work.
Also, avoid using the children as leverage. And take extra care not to argue in front of them. Let them live in a healthy environment because they are more vulnerable than you think.
A helpful tip is to communicate via text or message with your ex if you know you cannot have a civilised conversation together.
3# DEFINE CLEAR FINANCIAL INVOLVEMENT
Upfront determines who is bringing what. So, obviously, if you share a house, there are bills to pay for the upkeep of the home. So be very clear about finances. It will help if you treat your financial arrangement like a business.
A good suggestion is to have a separate bank account where each of you directly transfers funds each month. That way, the bills are automatically paid without having to chase each other or fight.
4# MINIMISE YOUR INTERACTIONS
10 great ways to cohabitate with ex after divorce include minimising your interactions. You may be forced to live in the same house, but you can minimise interactions with your ex. So, spend less time together, even if you are getting on excellent. There is a reason why you decided to part ways in the first place.
Therefore, minimise your overall interaction and communication. Also, avoid meeting too much in shared living spaces in the house. It would help to stay at home less often.
5# DO NOT NEGLECT SELF-CARE
Self-care is essential when you cohabitate with your ex; you must make the conscious decision to take care of yourself, especially your mental health, to prevent what has caused you and your ex to part still affecting you. So take extra good care of yourself physically and mentally.
Hence, make time for yourself, and do what you like, what makes you happy. Do not delay your happiness and comfort because of fear of repercussions or what your ex will say or think. That’s no longer your business. So, practice mindful compassion.
6# KEEP YOUR NEW DATE AWAY
You should do what you like and what makes you happy, but bringing your date home while cohabitating with your ex is not smart. For one thing, your new date will be uncomfortable and doubt you in the long run.
Also, your ex might not see this in good eyes; they might take it as a provocation, even if technically you are not doing something wrong. And if children are involved, this may not be an excellent example to show them. Therefore, do not bring home your new partner.
7# DO NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR
10 great ways to cohabitate with ex after divorce. Another critical point is not succumbing to the temptation to sleep with your ex when you cohabitate. Remember why you separated.
You must understand your differences and problems; those issues are still luckily there or will gallop back.
So, respect yourself and resist the temptation. Reduce proximity and interactions as much as possible. Doing so will help you not get in bed with your ex.
8# CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS
In cohabitating with your ex, you must control your emotions. Even if you used to constantly argue with your ex, you must get hold of yourself. The situation has changed. So, you are no longer in a relationship, therefore, no longer partners.
Hence, it would help if you treat your ex like a housemate. You wouldn’t constantly argue with your housemate, would you?
Therefore, avoid conflict and control your anger and responses. Do not overreact, and try to always interact in respectful, mature manners with your ex.
9# UNDERSTAND IT IS OVER
It is critically important to remember that it is over between you and your ex. Keep sight of this reality. So, let it completely sock into your mind, and importantly, accept it.
Therefore, keeping that in mind will help you deal objectively with things and challenges detachedly.
10# MIND YOUR BUSINESS
10 great ways to cohabitate with ex after divorce include minding your business. As you fully understand and accept that it is over between your ex and you, you must commit to not minding their business when cohabitating.
Respect their life, choices and their privacy, as long as what they are doing is not implicating you or your children. So, mind your own business to avoid some unnecessary conflicts.
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CONCLUSION
10 great ways to cohabitate with ex after divorce include:
. Establishing clear boundaries,
. Communicating with children,
. Define clear financial involvement,
. Minimising your interactions,
. Not neglecting self-care,
. Keeping your new date away,
. Not sleeping with your ex,
. Controlling your emotions,
. Fully understand it is over,
. Minding your business.
Following all or some of these tips will hugely help if you find yourself in this situation. Do you have any suggestions? Please share in the comment section below.
