10 simple ways to handle divorce stress. Divorce is a very stressful experience. Different reasons triggered anxiety through a divorce, including fear of the unknown, feelings of failure, social concerns, etc.
And the stress is much more pronounced in women over 40.
Some people can handle the stress, others not. Those unable to take it find it hard to express their feelings, so they bottle up everything. This ultimately leads to chronic anxiety or depression, negatively affecting their lives.
Even though divorce can cause a lot of stress, this does not have to necessarily affect you, even if you are over 40.
This article provides 10 great ways to deal with divorce stress, minimising or treating it.
1# ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress include accepting and letting go. Acknowledging your deepest feelings to deal with the stress generated is crucial. You should know where you stand and try hard not to live in the past. It would help to accept that your life has changed and is no longer how you knew it. Therefore, let go and move on.
It is understandable to some level that it is more difficult for women over 40 to let go because of fear of starting afresh at this age. But let go, you must do. Otherwise, you will be lingering in what should have been, or the outcome would have been different if…, I’m a failure, etc. This is the past, and you cannot do anything about it.
If you succeed in letting go, your stress level will be highly reduced.
So let go, anticipate your future, and prepare to embrace the unknown.
2# SELF-CARE AND SELF-COMPASSION
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress involve self-care and self-compassion. Whether you are facing a divorce or dealing with the aftermath of a divorce, stress will affect you. It will help if you consciously decide to take care of yourself and show compassion to yourself. Often, we are our worst critics, and this leads us to some self-destructive behaviours. Hence, Do not be hard on yourself.
For example, when distressed, we do not eat properly, skip meals or binge on food, increase alcohol and caffeine intake, and adopt some bad habits.
Although one can use the excuse of feeling down, fragile and vulnerable, it just doesn’t add up. So, avoid falling into this trap.
On the contrary, you should prioritise extra self-care because you are weak and more prone to self-neglect and addictions. So be kind to yourself, and create some ‘me time’ to care for yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. This is the time to be prepared for what lies ahead. You cannot go to a battle all worn down.
Moreover, be compassionate to yourself; you may not be the best one, but you are certainly not the worst.
Another critical point that would keep your stress level down is to avoid arguments and conflicts with your ex.
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress include journaling. Another great way to handle stress is to practice journaling. Making a habit of writing in a journal. This is a great and unique way to express yourself and your feelings. Write anything you cannot share with someone else, things you think are too shameful to be shared. By doing so, you will avoid bottling things up and release your emotions.
Also, this is an excellent way for women over 40, who cannot always share their deepest feelings for fear of being judged.
Moreover, in the long run, journaling can help you see the patterns of what is disturbing you and then allow you to deal with it.
Exercises are a great way to handle stress. Moving your body affects your mental state too. And the benefit involves sleeping better and staying fit.
You do not necessarily need to go to the gym for that because the idea of going to the gym can be demotivating for some.
Taking a simple walk can help; dancing at home, jumping rope, following some short exercise routines on YouTube, etc.
5# FIND A THERAPIST
Some people might get away with the stress, handling it independently, but others may need extra help. If you are struggling to let go, look for divorce counselling.
A counsellor or therapist will help you work through your feelings and emotions. This is a process; it takes time to recover; hence, do not expect to heal overnight. Therefore, be prepared to commit to it; give it time. And it will be worth it.
6# CREATE OR JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress include creating or joining a support group. A smart move will be to join a support group around you, or you can create one. Help is vastly available, so get it. Do not withdraw from society and play the self-pity game; this will only harm you.
Let people help you; start with the people around you, family and friends. If you are not getting the needed help, enlarge your perspective by finding or creating a support system. The aim is to go through this with others.
Interacting with others will help alleviate your mood, decreasing your stress level, so catch up with friends, laugh a lot, go out, watch funny movies, etc.
7# CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress include changing your mindset. In dealing with stress, it is imperative to have the right mindset. A minor change, a little shift in our thinking, can make a tremendous difference. So, change the way you perceive things around you and change your expectations; they may be misleading you. Also, accept that you are not a superwoman, you are not perfect, and you cannot control everything.
Then, start practising positive self-talk. Start meditating if you are not doing so already. It would help to recognise that every problem has negative and positive sides. Start seeing the positive side of your concerns, which will significantly help.
8# BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress include being there for your children. It can get complicated when children are involved, but it doesn’t have to. Being there for your children after divorce is imperative because they will be affected despite your best efforts.
So, even though you may be stressed, you can leverage your children to deal with the stress, meaning doing meaningful things with them, making sure to spend quality time with them, and making them feel appreciated, wanted, and loved.
And they will return all this love and appreciation manifold to you.
So, keep reassuring them, listening to them, maintaining stable routines, consistently disciplining them, keeping your promises, etc. Doing so and receiving their love will help you deal with stress.
9# COMMIT TIME TO YOUR HOBBIES AND INTERESTS
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress. Less thinking and more doing will help you deal with stress. Getting busy doing what you like will keep you in a good state of mind. So, take time to explore your interests and follow your hobbies.
This can be highly rewarding and healing, too. This is also the time to discover new hobbies to write this bucket list you’ve been putting out. Let yourself be constructively busy.
10# COMMIT TO SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress include showing up for yourself. You can fight stress by showing up for yourself. Accept that the divorce has happened, that you cannot change it anymore, and that it is painful, but the pain will recede and eventually disappear. So, you must not lose yourself by not eating correctly, adopting bad habits, not taking care of yourself, looking unkempt, etc.
Moreover, if you commit to showing up for yourself, you will surmount all the obstacles. And come out of it victorious. And looking your very best. So, Be accountable for yourself.
10 simple ways to handle divorce stress include:
. Acceptance and letting go,
. Applying self-care and compassion,
. Finding a therapist,
. Creating or joining a support group,
. Changing your mindset,
. Be there for your children,
. Commit time to your hobbies and interests,
. Showing up for yourself.
So, implementing some or all of these recommendations will make a huge difference. Do you have any suggestions? Please leave it in the comment box below.