10 great ways to make cohabitating with your ex bearable. The end of a relationship is complicated. But it can be more challenging for some exes to start entirely anew. Indeed, after a legal separation or divorce, some ex-couples are constrained to cohabitate. Usually, it is out of necessity for financial reasons, practicality, etc.
This could be a tricky, overwhelming situation if not handled properly. Many issues and misunderstandings can arise because the couples decide to separate, and it is easy to let the reasons for the separation pollute the new environment they are trying to create.
So, this article provides some strategies, tips, and guidance on cohabitating harmoniously with your ex-partner after a divorce or separation.
1# REMEMBER YOU ARE EXES
10 great ways to make cohabitating with your ex bearable. The first thing you must do is keep in mind that you are cohabitating with your ‘EX’, with whom you no longer have a romantic relationship.
Some people quickly forget this fact and fall back into old habits, wanting to do what they usually do. So, keep that in mind and remember to change your behaviour towards them, e.g., how you address them; for example, call them by their names instead of the pet’s name you used to use.
2# HAVE GOOD COMMUNICATION
It is crucial to have open and honest communication with your partner beforehand. Indeed, it is better to clarify everything upfront. Good communication will provide a solid foundation for cohabitation.
So, ensure all the essential points are discussed and, more importantly, that the final decisions reflect both opinions. Also, it is not a good idea to force some decision; where the decision is difficult, you must compromise halfway.
Therefore, communicate all the expectations, set the boundaries, and clarify the question of inviting or having guests around.
Honest communication about any issues or concerns that arise. Be willing to discuss and adjust boundaries as needed to ensure a peaceful living environment.
3# ESTABLISH CLEAR BOUNDARIES
10 great ways to make cohabitating with your ex bearable include having boundaries. It is crucial to have boundaries, so set up upfront, or you get the risk of things quickly getting out of hand.
You can do that by writing or tacit verbal accord, depending on how you trust each other. So, this is the time to outline how you will share the space and what going forward will be acceptable.
Moreover, doing so will significantly help in the long run, help to prevent misunderstandings, and reduce arguments.
4# ALLOCATE PERSONAL SPACES
It is essential to share spaces within the house. Although you will be living together, you must still preserve your space.
So, from the beginning, determine separate personal spaces, for example, attributing rooms or areas within the home. This will give you a sense of independence, such as privacy. Moreover, doing so will make the cohabitation bearable in most cases.
5# RESPECT EACH OTHER PRIVACY
It is vitally important to respect each other privacy. Ensure that you do not invade your ex-partner’s privacy. For example:
. do not open letters that are not meant for you,
. Avoid going through your ex’s personal stuff
. Knock on their room door or announce yourself by calling before barging into their allocated spaces.
So, respect each other when interacting. Do not let familiarity prevail too much; be civil and courteous toward each other. Also, when communicating, practice the art of listening.
6# PRIORITISE CHILDREN WELL-BEING
When children are involved, their well-being must always be your priority. It would help if you made the extra effort to let peace reign in the house. Hence, show them a united front to make them feel safe and secure.
Also, clearly define the boundaries and attribute responsibilities. Please avoid using the children as scapegoats, involving them in your conflicts, and inciting them to take sides.
7# SHARE EXPENSES AND CHORES
10 great ways to make cohabitating with your ex bearable. Other essential points to address from the beginning are the house chores and the expenses. Those are so important that it is recommended to put them in writing. This written agreement can be helpful for future reference. So,
. share the household chores fairly,
. Clearly determine responsibilities towards children,
. Split Bill payments: a good measure for finances is to divide equally unless there are special reasons not to.
Moreover, both parties must understand that these responsibilities are obligations; they are not optional. Moreover, both ex-partners must commit to creating peace and harmony in the household.
8# DO NOT INTERFERE IN EACH OTHER LIVES
10 great ways to make cohabitating with your ex bearable include not interfering. Some habits are hard to deal with, so sometimes you may find yourself interfering in your ex-partner’s business that has nothing to do with you. Work hard on yourself and lose the habit.
So even if you are tempted or highly compelled to act, react, speak up, rebuff, correct, intervene, etc., regarding your ex, please refrain and restrain yourself.
Therefore, learn to be less familiar unless you are asked to keep your unsolicited advice to yourself.
Moreover, an easy way to stop yourself from interfering is to remember that you are exes now.
9# AVOID BRINGING DATE AT HOME
it is better not to bring your date home. Avoid unnecessary arguments and conflicts because getting them at home can cause many other issues such as jealousy, resentment, discomfort, destabilising the children, etc.
And this point is worth discussing with your ex. Usually, ex-partners handle this issue by unanimously deciding not to bring their date into the shared living space.
10# TAKE CARE OF LEGAL MATTER
It is crucial to take care of the legal side of the matter. Often, people have verbal agreements after separation, such as child custody arrangements, divorce agreements, or property division, but this could cause issues later.
So, it is crucial to put all legal documents in order and adhere to them. Moreover, doing so would give both parties peace of mind and a feeling of security.
10 great ways to make cohabitating with your ex bearable include:
. Remembering you are exes,
. having good communication,
. Establish clear boundaries,
. Allocating personal spaces,
. Respect each other privacy,
. Prioritising children’s well-being,
. Sharing expenses and chores,
. Not interfering in each other lives,
. Avoid bringing date at home,
. Taking care of legal matters.
Applying these strategies will indubitably help ease the relationship with an ex-partner. Do you have any other recommendations? Please leave in the comments section.